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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen? After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight! What do a Turtle and a Pedophile have in common? What's sicker than a pile of dead babies? What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites? In Brooke Shields' pants. Because he couldn't spell "Pathetic".
Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record? Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song? Rumor has it that Michael Jackson is in Switzerland undergoing cosmetic surgery on his pecker. Then the description the California Justice Dept got from the little boy won't fit anymore. Another rumor has it that he's finally going all the way and changing gender entirely. What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme?
Little Boy Blue who? What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy? What did Michael Jackson say when a boy in a car mooned him going down the road? If you play thriller backwards, you can hear Michael confessing all the names of the boys he touched. That's why it is 14 minutes long. What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song? I just bought a new car stereo When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music.
Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "fucking kids! Michael Jackson's found a way to stymie that L. He's invited Lorena Bobbitt over. How do we know Michael is guilty? Several children have fingered him. How will MJ pay off his old boyfriends? Why doesn't Micheal have orgasms? The big payoff comes a couple of months later. Why does Michael like children so much? He knows how they feel. How did Michael get in trouble? He was feeling a little Randy.
How is Michael dealing with his problems? He's holding his own. How are Michael's friends dealing with the problem? They're all standing behind him. What psychological problem does Michael still suffer from? How is Michael now? Feeling a little crotchety. Why does Micheal Jackson like to lose foot races to little boys?
He likes to come in a little behind. What was the big break in the Micheal Jackson molestation case? A doctor did a rectal exam of one of the boys bringing charges and found What is the most difficult thing to get out of little boys underwear? Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers? To stop him from going OW! How does Michael Jackson keep his youth? Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to BoyzMen??
He thought it was a delivery service. Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date? What does Michael call an orgy? What makes Michael Jackson so unique? It's the little boy inside him. Did you know that Michael Jackson just turned 35? Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old. What do Michael and Gaylord Perry have in common? Both have held lots of wet balls in their hands. Who was the unmanned recon airplane the Predator named for?
What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs? A Michael Jackson slumber party. What's "black-white" and purple? Michael Jackson's dick after a slumber party with a bunch of 6 year olds. How do you know when it's bedtime at the Jackson residence? When the big hand touches the little hand What is Michael Jackson's favorite game to play at night? Hide the pickle in the pajamas. What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common?
They both like a little crack now and then. To get over his 11 year crack habit. Why does Michael really need to go to rehab? He's a crack addict. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch from drug rehab?
You know, I feel like a new boy! Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? He's tired of all the cracks. What's the first problem the Michael's child will have in life? Figuring out which parent is his mother. What happens when Michael talks about sex? It's all very tongue in cheek. What's sex like for Michael? What's the difference between a plastic grocery bag and Michael Jackson?
Well, one's an artificial piece of trash that can harm little children, and the other is used to hold groceries. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator? A fridge doesn't toot after you take your meat out of it! What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a microwave? A microwave won't brown your meat! What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper? One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a ghost? One is completely white and has a scary face. The other is a supernatural being. What's the difference between Michael and Connie Chung? Michael's been able to have kids.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Nixon? One was a consummate asshole, the other a consummated asshole. What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping? So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians! Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
What's Michael's favorite Canadian TV show? The Kids in the Hall. What will they call Michael's new TV series?